Malas berpikir filosofis

“Mengapa manusia dilengkapi dengan dua telinga namun hanya satu mulut?”

Sejak dulu saya kurang begitu menaruh minat terhadap pertanyaan-pertanyaan filosofis yang mencari tahu penjelasan di balik serba-serbi penciptaan. Soalnya selain malas berpikir dan memeras otak, saya sadar betul bahwa otak manusia yang rata-rata cuma berukuran 1,2 liter ini tidak akan mampu dipakai deh untuk urusan itu. Yang ada malah sok tahu jadinya hehehe.

Misalnya seperti pertanyaan di atas. Mengapa kita punya dua kuping dan satu mulut? Meneketehe! Fakta bahwa kuping dipakai untuk mendengar dan mulut berbicara bagi saya sudah cukup memuaskan. Perkara jumlah mah terserah yang memberi. Memangnya bisa meminta berapa biji kita?

Meski demikian, saya lumayan menaruh minat pada usaha manusia menerka-nerka jawabannya. Sebab kadang-kadang terkaan mereka itu menghibur alias menggelikan. Apalagi kalau sudah menyangkut aturan agama (dalam hal ini Islam). Betapa menakjubkan ya, melihat orang-orang yang rela meluangkan waktu supaya dapat mengemukakan tebakan jawaban seperti ini:

1. Dua telinga dan satu mulut agar manusia lebih banyak mendengar daripada berbicara. Kalau begitu kenapa tidak empat kuping saja sekalian biar makin banyak mendengar?
   
2. Dua mata diletakkan di depan agar manusia senantiasa melihat ke masa depan, tidak ke masa lalu. Kalau begitu kenapa mata tidak terletak di ujung hidung supaya posisinya lebih depan lagi?
   
3. Gerakan ruku’ (dalam sholat) berguna membuat kepala sejajar hati. Bisa diganti dengan gerakan telentang atau tengkurap dong? Kan yang penting sejajar hahaha.
   
4. Gerakan sujud (dalam sholat) berguna membuat kepala lebih rendah dari hati. Bisa diganti dengan gerakan yoga dong yang kaki di atas kepala di bawah? Kan yang penting kepala lebih rendah dari hati ahahahahaha :P
   
5. Selain itu, sujud juga bermanfaat mengalirkan darah ke kepala. Ah koprol juga bisa.
   
6. Babi dilarang sebab mengandung cacing pita. Jadi, silakan makan babi yang rajin minum Combantrin tiap hari.

Pragmatis betul saya jadi orang. Heheheh. Btw ada tambahan tebakan jawaban lagi? Hihi.

Ketua MPR versi online

Tahukah anda bahwa Indonesia punya dua versi Ketua MPR?

Karena tidak memenuhi syarat sebagai Ketua MPR 2009-2014 (yang antara lain berbunyi “tidak boleh lancar membaca”), Hidayat Nur Wahid pun akhirnya harus menyerahkan tampuk kepemimpinan kepada Taufik Kiemas.

Namun pengelola website pribadi HNW tidak rela atas pencopotan itu. Dengan tidak segera mengganti gambar utama di website, mereka pun mendaulat HNW sebagai Ketua MPR versi online.

PS. Gambar diambil pada Senin 9 November 2009.

A stupid kitten

We first heard his mew on Sunday afternoon. My father thought it was coming from our roof, but then I told him I was pretty sure it was actually from the attic just above the bathroom. Nothing we can do about although he was crying continuously. We just hoped the mother would come to his rescue to feed him, or at least make the cry stop.

The next morning when I went to the bathroom, I almost stepped on him. He was there on the floor, still mewing but this time much more weakly. That’s when I noticed that he still wasn’t able to walk, his eyes still closed and his body covered with something sticky. Such a small helpless stupid kitten!

I lifted him and put him in a box. I gave him some water (and milk later) and he fell asleep not long after.

And that’s how we officially had a new member in the family.

He spent most of his time sleeping in the box. Other than that, he was talking to us in the only language he knew, that is mewing. Of course we totally understood what he said: “I want milk NOW.”

So I would lift him from the box and tried to provide what the little guy wanted. But since we didn’t have any straw or pipette around, he had to drink from spoon.

I gotta tell you it wasn’t easy. I had to first let him suck on my fingers before pushing the spoon quickly — a bit forcing to be exact — into his tiny mouth. I knew it hurt him but I didn’t have a choice. I did that several times until he wasn’t interested in my fingers anymore (either he was full or he realized they weren’t the real thing hehehe).

So basically that’s what I had been doing for the past four days. Responding to a stupid kitten and let him suck on my fingers. I didn’t enjoy it. I hoped he would grow rapidly over a night and be able to eat/drink by himself.



When I came home this evening, I didn’t see the box so I asked my mom about the kitten. She told me she had given it to a girl next door, who happened to have a queen in her house. “The neighbor said the kitten was so cute and she was pretty sure he belonged to her queen,” my mom said.

“I think she will take care of the kitten better than we do.”

Damn. Damn. Damn. I know my mom has a very good point, but somehow I wish I had let the kitten suck on my fingers one last time before he took off.

Not as a sign of goodbye: I just wanted him to remember what the fake thing felt before he finally got the real thing for good heheheh.

PS. We didn’t name the kitten who now only has eight lives (he surely lost one when he fell from the attic).

It's pink!

I think the taxi company must get a great deal of money in February, when people celebrate St. Valentine’s Day. Hohoho.